Is That Happiness REAL?

We've all seen this kind and wonder what's their secret. And we're either elated for them or lowkey wondering why are they so happy?

Fair enough, right?

You know, the kinds with the PDA and overly affectionate, constanly saying "No, I love you more" and you're staring at them and saying to yourself "Get a room!" or "Is that real? Are they for real?" or maybe you're the one saying, "I wish I had that." It all depends on which person you are that defines where the next piece goes.

Interestingly enough, some couples portray an image of happiness and it is very much unreal. Some of these couples are our friends and we think "Oh, now they we're at the mall, they've got to act all lovey-dovey and front for the onlookers." And this okay. I myself have seen a pair at each other's throats and then all of a sudden in public they're the bestest friends in the whole world.

At often times it is believed amongst most that couples do this to not broadcast their issues, however one could be suffering and in need of help and no one would know. In an opinion, isn't it fair for one to think that deceiving, even in this aspect is somewhat wrong and could be a little misleading? Outsiders see this kind of happiness as an invitation to their own and soon learn that it's not really what it seems.

Not saying that one should look utterly pissed when out with someone they love dearly, however making it seem like what the commercials and movies do is a little much.

Club Wonder Why, agree or disagree?

Not for marriage, but believe in playing house?

Why?

Interestingly enough, the answers I've gotten are, "Because marriage ruins what we have" or "For what? We've been living together, we've got children, we're happy. What's a piece of paper saying that we're now married going to change?"

   It often amazes me how some women who were once those little girls that dreamed of one day getting married, having babies, and planning their "happily-ever-afters" have now switched to getting pregnant, living with the one that impregnated them, and settling for playing housewife, instead of being just that, the wife of the house. Not the co-owner, but the wife. Or on the contrary, moving in a man with no set goals or plans of prosperity, but someone who planted a seed in you and now has some sort of ownership towards what was once just yours because you've allowed that. And also, there are those that claim to be entirely happy, without a doubt and nothing in this world could change that, not even a piece of paper...

Gene Simmons and Shannon Tweed

This couple is said to have been happily together for 28+ years, 2 kids, never married, and now planning to split after Tweed is reported to have "had enough." Well if any of you have ever seen the show, featuring the couple and their children, you'll see the pair (him, happy... her, not so much) and their kids somewhat suffering from the situation. He lives the life of a rockstar and she is at wits end trying to trust that when he's out, he's being faithful and true to her, but honestly... the fact that the pair are not married, nor have ever been, gives more incentives and entitlement to him being able to do whatever he wants. And in all actuality, he can.

Not one to judge, but since when does NOT being married to someone that you've been with for years and years on end, give a person the right on what their significant other can and cannot do? No vows are being broken if they do date someone else. It's not adultery and it's not a sin if they find love elsewhere. Does that significant other actual owe it to the person they are dating an explanation of where they've been and have been up to? I've heard this response to questions that go down that tunnel, "What are you, my wife? I don't have to tell you a thing if I choose not to."

I can't say who or what defines what a family is, but I've been there and done that and there is no way I'm going back to that lifestyle. And I only did it for a couple of years.

Here's more information on some straight couples opting for a domestic partnership: www.unmarriedamerica.org/members/news/2004/April-DP/many_straight_couples_opt_for_domestic_partnership.htm

They Say Love Doesn't Hurt... Is That So?

 Club Wonder Why...

Why do I ask that? I've seen so many times where there's a couple... you know: happy, in love, completely indulged in one another, can't get enough of being around each other, BFF types? Where one partner goes, the other is sure to follow. Fight-free. And last, but not least... TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE.
    Interestingly enough, there are those that just get along like that, but I've come across the ones where I go, "Ah-HA! I KNEW IT!" Well- I say it inside my mind, not really out loud, but totally wanted to. Reason being is because there have been times where I find myself single and everyone else surrounding me is either in a relationship, married, or bound to be. Sounds silly to even care, but sometimes I do. Secretly wishing that someone would just get into a fight and not want to be around their mate and just hang out or go out with me. Again, I never say this out loud, totally my thoughts.
    Anyway, I have this single friend that informed me of her friend's divorce and what all had happened. Supposedly, one spouse cheated on the other as a way of getting out of the marriage. The other spouse was still willing to work it out, but the cheating one refused to make it work and was pissed off that the cheating scheme didn't work, so to make matters even worse, the cheater kept on cheating until ol' faithful had had enough. Oddly, those that were close to them had never saw this coming. They felt that the couple was happily married and everything was going perfectly and couldn't imagine why this turmoil had unnecessarily come about. 
    Come to find out, the cheating spouse had had enough of the love and happiness and wanted some issues and drama. Weird, right? Yeah, I had said the same thing. I guess the thought of being "happily ever after" is overrated. I was informed by this former cheating spouse that when you're elated at all times in a marriage and your mind is idol, you forsee too much perfection. It seemed as if they'd never have a disagreement, debate, argument, make-up sex, or even a reason to forgive one another when nothing had ever went wrong. This was just way too much for someone who wasn't reaching for perfection.  And I honestly just don't get it.
   Me, being single, I've always dreamed of just finding that person that could be my best friend because the qualities that you'd typically seek in a best friend should also be those that you'd look for in a mate. Nobody's perfect, but when it seems that way, all hell breaks loose.

                                                                                                         ~K. Harris